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Bofa D's Wedding Planner

 

Here at Bofa D's, we always seek to give you advice about stuff we know nothing about.  We continue that tradition today with our Wedding Guide.   Apparently, people spend big bucks to pay someone to plan their wedding.  We think that sucks. That's perfectly good money you could use to buy a Playstation or a Wii. So, because we are the Greatest Website Ever, we are offering a Step By Step Wedding Plan...FOR FREE!

 

Step One: Find Someone To Marry: This can be the easiest, or the hardest step of all. But, we can all agree that it is the first step. Unless you are one of those crazy females who has planned their wedding since they were six. And fellas, Bofa D's does not condone mail-order brides from ANY COUNTRY.

 

 

Step Two: Pick a Wedding Date: The Bofa D's Crew has never been married, but we have been to enough weddings to learn this simple rule. If you want people to come, have the wedding on Friday night or Saturday. If you don't want people to come, pick either a Sunday night or a holiday weekend (sample RSVP: "You are my best friend, but I can't fly to Nebraska for Christmas.")

 

Step Three: Book a Wedding Singer: We recommend these guys:

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Step Four: Pick out your flowers: No one cares about them, and they'll die within a few days, but you're gonna spend a ton of money on them anyway.

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Step Five: Assign Someone to Limit Best Man's Alcohol Consumption: Every Groom has that friend who is going to tell a really funny story at the wedding. Depending on his alcohol intake, topics could include the groom's ex-girlfriends, drunken stories involving puking or peeing somewhere funny, and that time he and your new husband got caught in a snow storm and had to huddle together for warmth. You probably don't want that.

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Step Six: Stress Out Over Stupid Details: Here's the deal. No matter how bad the wedding goes, you'll still end up married, which is the whole point anyway. And all of your friends and family will come and have a good time, regardless of whether the napkins were the wrong shade of white. That said, I know you are going to stress out about it all anyway, so go ahead and stress out. Because if your wedding doesn't go 100% perfectly, you probabably will have a bad marriage.

 

Step Seven: Register For A Playstation 3: What? You don't want a Playstation 3? Even better! Register for it, and send it to us! We'll officially name you Bofan Of the Year! That's the wedding gift that keeps on giving (in a good way!).

 

Step Eight: Stay Married: If you don't, you just flushed all that money down the drain.

Did this list inspire you to do anything productive? We hope not. Instead check out our Wedding Checklist!

Did we miss something important that you need to do before you get married? Drop us a line at webmaster@bofads.com.

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