Quick and Easy Guide to Nicknaming Your Friends 5: Strokin' Edition

Just when you thought it was safe to make friends, the fifth edition to the legendary series, Bofa D's Quick and Easy Guide to Nicknaming Your Friends is here! If you are unfamiliar with this literary masterpiece, CLICK HERE TO START AT THE BEGINNING. Now that you are caught up, enjoy the Guide to Nicknaming Your Friends: Strokin' Edition. Why did we make a whole list of nicknames about stroking? About 50% of the world's population is male. And about 100% of those males rub one out. Therefore, there is a large need for nicknames that pertain to this all too common activity. Hence, the Strokin' Edition.

 

  1. Strochuli: There's a football ref named Ed Hochuli (pronouned Hock-U-Lee). Strochili (pronounced Stroke-You-Lee) is best given to your friend named Lee who likes the NFL. When his team loses, he can take solace in the fact that people are talking about stroking him.

 

  1. Strokomine: Pronounced Stroke-Oh-Mean, this nickname is not to be confused with Scromine. Rather, Strokomine is your friend who forgets to wash his hands after he rubs one out. Therefore, you should avoid shaking Strokomine's hand.

 

  1. Strokomime: Not to be confused with Strokomine. Pantomime refers to a theatrical genre which is usually performed around the Christmas and New Year holiday season. Strokomime is your friend who likes to make a performance about his masturbation habits, particularly around the lonely holiday season.

 

  1. Strokemsedeutch: This name evokes a popular Gerkan phrase. Give it to your friend who is always bragging about how international he is. Sample conversation:

    Friend: I've been to ten different countries.

    You: So? We were talking about Playstation.

    Friend: Yes, but I learned to speak the native language for each country I visited. I'm fluent.

    You: Way to go Strokemsedeutch.

 

  1. Strokesody in Blue: like George Gershwin's classic, Rhapsody in Blue, an experimental composition combining elements of classical music with jazz-influenced effects, Strokesedy in Blue likes to encourage his friends to try something new. The problem is, all of Strokesedy's ideas end up sucking.

     

    1. Awsay Strok: Awsay Strok was an American impresario who introduced many noted artists to Far Eastern audiences. So, if you happend to know another person named Awsay, they will be very happy to be called Awsay Strok - even if the implication is they are always talking about spanking the monkey.

     

    1. Strokedee: Strokedee is your hot (or semi-hot) female friend who you always wish would Strokedeez nuts, but instead always tells you about her messed up dating life because you are such a "good friend." Sample conversation:

      Strokedee: I'm just so tired of dating good looking, rich, athletes. I wish I could just date a nice dorky guy

      You: Uhhhh, I'm dorky.

      Strokedee: Darn, I'm late to my date with the quarterback.

      Note: This name is probably best reserved for talking about her to your friends. If she knows you call her Strokedee, you've got a catch-22. If she doesn't immediately figure out the Strokedeez nuts joke, she is too lame to be your friend. But if she figures it out, she is very cool, but she won't want to be your friend.

     

    1. Ferdinand Strokos: Ferdinand Marcos was the President of the from 1966 to 1986. If you have a friend with political ambitions, he is Ferdinand Strokos. Why? Because most people who go around talking about how they are going to be President are spanks.


    Before there could be a Guide to Nicknames Part 5: Strokin' Edition, there had to be a one, two, three, and four. So go check them out

    Guide to Nicknaming Your Friends Part I
    Nicknames, the Sequel
    Nicknames III: The Saga Continues
    Nicknames 4: Scro Edition

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