NASA-Illuminati Alien Conspiracy Revealed!

On December 2nd, 2010, NASA revealed that it has discovered a new life form that substitutes arsenic for phosphorus in its cell components. 
 
The newly discovered microbe, strain GFAJ-1, is a member of a common group of bacteria, the Gammaproteobacteria. In the laboratory, researchers successfully grew microbes on a diet that was very lean on phosphorus, but included generous helpings of arsenic (pictured below, courtesy of NASA). 

When researchers removed the phosphorus and replaced it with arsenic the microbes continued to grow. Subsequent analysis indicated that the arsenic was being used to produce the building blocks of new GFAJ-1 cells (pictured below, courtesy of NASA). 

The scientific community and the popular media were quick to admit that this revelation will alter biology textbooks and expand the scope of the search for life beyond Earth.   But the new microbe's ties to the Illuminati and the true implications of this discovery are still being hidden.  Until now.
 
Senior NASA scientist Dr. Haywood Jablomie was willing to risk his career to discuss the truth behind this new microbe with us.  His discussion revealed two main points:
 
1. Alien DNA:  This microbe proves that our planet has alien DNA.  In their press release, NASA acknowledged that "carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, phosphorus and sulfur are the six basic building blocks of all known forms of life on Earth."  NASA would have us believe that this is simply a new discovery of life that has been on Earth all along.  But what are the odds that every single form of life that developed on Earth uses the six basic building blocks of life except for one?   Dr. Jablomie calculated the odds at 1,245,300,793,300,102,052 to 1.  An examination of the cells reveals that these cells are like nothing the Earth has ever seen. Where most cells have a nucleus, these cells are solid all the way through, making them strong enough to survive in a toxic environment like arsenic.  The truth is that this DNA is extraterrestrial in origin, arriving on this planet around the same time the Illuminati began.  That is too much of a coincidence to ignore.  I asked Dr. Jablomie if it is possible that this alien DNA forms the basis of the 13 Illuminati bloodlines.  Dr. Jablomie stated that it is certainly possible, but he was unwilling to make a definitive conclusion outside his area of scientific expertise.
 
2. Super-soldiers:  This DNA strand can survive on arsenic instead of the carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and phosphorus regular people rely on.  Dr. Jablomie referred to classified military documents indicating the Illuminati are using this DNA in gene therapy to develop super-soldiers.  Dr. Jablomie had seen these documents during a top secret briefing with the United Nations Interplanetary Defense Initiative, but he was unable to sneak out a copy.  According to the documents, using this power to survive without oxygen, these super-soldiers will be able to survive underwater and perhaps even in outer space.

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