Chapstick Monkey: Genius or Fool?  log

This exclusive series of nature pictures details a day in the life of Chapstick Monkey - a cautionary tale to supporters of Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

The day begins as any day does in the jungle.  Swinging from trees, flinging poo, looking for a monkey agent to get him a gig in commercials.  But this day is different. Today, monkey has found something that will change his life ... forever.


That something is a tube of chapstick. Suddenly, our intrepid monkey undergoes immediate evolution and becomes smarter.  Smart enough to realize that the sun's harmful UV rays can cause his lips to become dry and chapped.  What was once an ordinary monkey is now a super-smart Chapstick Monkey!


Chapstick Monkey decides to do his lips a favor and apply some chapstick. Unfortunately, even though he is super smart, Chapstick Monkey can't read English.  As a result, poor Chapstick Monkey can't read the directions.

monkey chew

He tries his best, but he just can't figure out how to open his prize.


Perhaps the chapstick did not in fact cause an evolutionary leap forward.  If you look closer at the picture, you'll see that Chapstick Monkey is trying to open the chapstick from the wrong end. Maybe he isn't so smart after all...

monkey chapstick

Our fears are confirmed as Chapstick Monkey attempts to eat the tube of chapstick.  He never cared about protecting his lips from the elements.  He was only trying to eat chapstick. What kind of an idiot eats chapstick?


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