9 Christmas Gifts I Wish I Didn't Get
Well
gang, Christmas has come and gone, and all that is left is the presents. I'm sure you all got lots of cool
stuff. We didn't. We got a bunch of junk, and now we have to
write thank you cards for this stuff we don't even want:
1. Tie:
What good is a tie if you don't have a job? 2. Golden
Girls Season 3: First of all, who the hell wants a Golden Girls DVD? Second of all, why wouldn't you start at
Season One? 3. Windup
Flashlight: I think the idea here is to use it if the power goes out. If the power goes out, I'm not going to be
able to get to the closet to find the darn thing. And it takes forever to crank up enough juice to turn the thing
on. I'd rather sit in the dark. 4. Scarf
and Gloves: Winter's half over already! Where were you when it got cold all
the way back in October? And honestly,
do dudes wear scarves? 5. McDonald's
Gift Cards: I love McDonalds, but if you are going to give me a gift card,
get me something that isn't dirt cheap already. I need a gift card to go out for a steak dinner. McDonalds, I can handle with the change in
my couch cushion. 6. Playstation
3 Controller: Nice thought, except for one thing. I don't have a freakin' Playstation 3! So, you got me a really expensive paperweight that also serves as
a constant reminder that I don't have a Playstation 3(clicking on this link takes you to our very informative video game review). Thanks!
7. A
Myspace Comment Wishing Me Merry Christmas: I was going to have a really
bad Christmas until you took the time to send me a posting with a guy in a
bright red thong telling me to unwrap my present. That pretty much saved the whole holiday for me. Thanks for taking the time to put a lot of
thought and effort into my gift. 8. Jingle
Cat CD: For those of you fortunate not to know what this is, I envy
you. It is a bunch of cats
"singing" Christmas songs.
And it is terrible. But that is
not what puts this gift on this list.
What good is a Christmas album on Christmas? Assuming I wanted to listen to it, I'd have to wait an entire
year for it to be Christmas music season again. 9. Regifted
Stuff: Don't get me wrong, I love regifting. In fact, I may do that with some of the stuff listed above. But at least see what is in the box before giving
it to me. Oh, and change the card on it
too. Dead giveaway. Do
you have any idea how hard it is to write a nice thank you card for something
you hate? Try writing one for this
website, you'll see!
Did
you get a bunch of crap you'd return, if only you had the receipt? Tell
us! If it is funny, we'll add it to our
list. If it isn't funny, we'll still
laugh at you for getting sucky gifts, but we won't put it on our list. Drop us a line at webmaster@bofads.com.
