The Worst Fantasy Baseball Team Ever...Or is it really the best?
See Our Guide to Making the List
If you've read the Sports Page, you know that Fantasy Baseball is great way to enjoy America's pastime. But unless you are a genius, most fantasy teams will end up sucking. Well, this dire prediction came true during Bofa D's fantasy baseball auction. Apparently I am no genius. There was a crucial point where I looked at my team and realized that all my players sucked. I looked at my cheat sheets and pondered how I could improve my team with good players. I then decided to throw caution into the wind and draft players whose names amused me. Big mistake. While I am guaranteed not to win the league this year, I can assure you that this is the greatest team ever assembled.
Players Drafted to the WWW.BOFADS.COM Scrobiculators:
1. Adam Loewen: Not funny yet. But as you read on, remember it is pronounced Low-an. It is merely the first piece in the puzzle.
2. Adam Eaton: He had an ERA well above 5 last year, but we're working on something here.
3. Dave Bush: So now we have the Lowen Eaton Bush pitching staff. This hopefully will distract batters. Say it out loud a few times. You'll see what I mean.
4. Placenta Polanco: This Detroit Tiger was on our team last year, and sucked big time. But, with a name like this, we were willing to spend five bucks on him.
5. Justin Porneau: The simple change from M to P makes the reigning AL MVP a must own for our team.
Obviously we were unable to get every player we wanted due to financial constraints and the fact that some players with funny names really suck. We have targeted the following players as mid-season acquisitions: 1. Kerry Wood: The Eaton, Wood tandem would work well to further confuse batters.
2. Jon Coutlangus: Who wouldn't want coutalingus?
3. Ani-balls Sanchez: This guy is a must get. He's not just ani-Ball, he also threw a no hitter last year! If that joke doesn't do it for you, you can always refer to him as "dirty" Sanchez.
Check back often to follow the progess of the Scrobiculators in our quest to assemble the funniest team in fantasy baseball history.
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