Strange Things I Heard When I Broke My Ankle
Bofa D has been hobbling lately. That's right BoFans, I suffered a major ankle injury which required crutches and a cast. It's amazing how much more likely people are to talk to you when you are on crutches. Even homeless dudes wish you well. Most of these comments are of the ordinary "Feel better, man" or "What happened?" variety. However, some comments were a bit more unexpected.
I learned that a lot of people have had ankle injuries, because everyone feels compelled to tell me about theirs. These people also typically like to let me know how I'm using crutches wrong. Note to the public: When someone is in crutches, it doesn't make them feel better to hear about how you've had the exact same injury and yours required surgery.
Aside from learning way too much about the people in the elevator, some things people have said to me have been pretty off the wall (even for me). Here are some of the strangest, 100% true things people have said to me.
1. Them: "Did you hurt your ankle playing softball?"
Me: "No, I hurt it playing basketball."
Them: "You should have hurt it playing softball."
2. "Did you get attacked by a pack of monkeys?"
3. "At least you hurt it doing something you love." Strangely enough, this one actually made me feel a little better.
4. "I bet I could beat you in a race with crutches."
5. "When I was a boy, I wanted to improve my upper body strength for wrestling. My dad made me walk miles with crutches. It worked."
6. "Slow down, you're going too fast." First off, I'm not sure why someone who I had never met would care how fast I was going with my crutches from the other side of the lobby. But more importantly, I was going about as slow as anyone has ever gone anywhere. If I was going any slower, I would have been going backwards.
7. "At least you don't need your ankle to masturbate." Strangely enough, this one actualy made me feel a little better too.
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